"Still a little bit of your words I long to hear"

I was reminded earlier that I haven't updated this blog for a while, well the truth is I can't, I can't update it because for the first time I can't write what I want to write because I don't want it to be read, in other words I guess this particular blog will be without any particular reason. Although I seem to find a reason and meaning for some of my most vacuous blogs. So here goes nothing.

I don't like how I cant be open today. However, I think blogging (for me) will always be more open than a diary, I tried that once and found myself always writing to myself as an audience or worse writing it in the hope someone in a distant time would find it and be impressed, whereas in reality every so often I come across it and realise I cant read whatever I wrote (im not sure pink was the best choice looking back, although alternating it with purple makes for a rather exciting contrast masking the rather dull interior of my sentiments at the time) (hey maybe I need to put a colour on this one to make it exciting)

In a way the public audience that this blog could potentially receive keeps me from being too sentimental and getting lost inside my own head.
I think it would be interesting to read a child's blog, adults stop themselves from being open, I don't like that, I don't like the way we mask our feelings, I don't like the way I don't always know my own feelings.

Completely separate point: I want to plot a graph of time against tastiness for chewing gum, it marks me that the first few minutes are brilliant but there is definitely a point where the amount of saliva you have used seems to outweigh the mint of the chewing gum resulting in a rather strange taste, rather like chewing an old hat may taste, the thing is I always reach the point without realising, im reluctant to throw the chewing gum away before I have got my value for money out of it and therefore face the problem of previously mentioned "old hat" syndrome.
hmm...

Chewing gum wasn't what I was reluctant to talk about, although I am glad I got that off my chest :)